I saw the following status update on my friend Rachel’s Facebook page today:
Husband and Wife Week — If your spouse is one of your best friends, who works hard for you, who has been with you through thick and thin, who loves you when you’re at your worst, and whom you are PROUD to be married to, copy and paste this with the year you were married…
So I posted it on my page and added “Wayne & Courtney 1995 (But est. 1986 
.”
When another friend commented “WOW that’s a long time! Congratulations,” it dawned on me: Holy smokes! We’ve officially been together 25 years now!
It was May 1986 when we were first introduced. It didn’t take me anytime before I started stalking him. (It was love at first sight for me. For Wayne? Well, let’s just say I may have been fifteen, but that didn’t stop me from seducing him. Poor guy. He was doomed from the beginning…)
All joking aside, we’ve had major ups and major downs in those 25 years. We have definitely seen thick and thin, as well as each other at our best and worst.
No matter what the weather –good, bad or ugly– we’ve certainly learned a lot along the way. Here’s a few lessons I’ve come away with:
- Saying “I do” is not your “happily ever after” nor does it guarantee you one. Every day brings the chance to put the happy in your marriage. And you must do it. You can’t expect a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and sprinkle happy dust on you every day.
- Being pretty and thin and what most would consider perfect does not guarantee your spouse will be faithful. (I don’t know this from personal experience. To my knowledge Wayne’s always been faithful, not to mention I’m neither thin nor anyone’s definition of perfection. I watch the news, though. Just look at the likes of Tiger Woods and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Married to gorgeous women. Didn’t stop them…)
- Being overweight and average looking and what most would consider imperfect does not guarantee your spouse will cheat on you. (I think I have experience with this one. Again, to my knowledge Wayne’s always been faithful. Fat, bald, sick as a dog…I’ve been it all and he’s loved me just as I am.)
- An enormous and expensive wedding ring doesn’t make you anymore married.
- Respect is the most important ingredient any marriage can have. It should always be in the mix in abundance!
- A big blow up once in a while clears the air, strengthens the bond, and never fails to stimulate amazing sex.
- White lies can be blessings.
- I have no regrets that I’ve been with Wayne since high school. I’m glad I didn’t listen to everyone who ever told me I was nuts to be in such a serious relationship at such a young age. I’d have regretted listening to them. You’re never too old nor too young to find your heart’s counterpart.
- Love is worth fighting for.
- Fights are part of married life.
- You can’t take words back. Choose which ones you use wisely. They will be remembered.
- Whether we’re laughing together or crying together, the most important thing is being together.
- I love when I hear our song. It is one I will never grow weary of listening to over and over ad over again until the end of my days.
- People do change. Interests, tastes, opinions, etc. Sometimes it’s scary, but it’s also an opportunity for relationship growth. But what should never change is the interest you take in your spouse –whether you share their interests or not.
- We’re going to make mistakes. Laughing at them helps us put them behind us easier.
- Love grows as the years pass. I love Wayne now more than ever. I still get excited to see him, I hate being away from him, and I love spending every moment I can with him.
I am very proud of my husband. He was hard to land, but to me he was the prize catch!
Happy Anniversary, honey. I love you just as I always have –forever and always, from the bottom of my canyon.
Senior Prom
Can’t say I agree with #6, #7 or #8…but ask me again in 20 years. *smile*
What is your song?
Jade, I don’t know if you’ll ever appreciate #8 since you and M weren’t high school sweethearts, but either way I can see why you might not agree with. (Just knowing you as I semi-sort of do, I can aniticipate some of your arguments against it.)
The other two, well…time and experience *might* change your tune on these. We’ll see…
Melt with You by Modern English
What’s yours?
Jade, I don’t know if you’ll ever appreciate #8 since you and M weren’t high school sweethearts, but either way I can see why you might not agree with. (Just knowing you as I semi-sort of do, I can aniticipate some of your arguments against it.)
The other two, well…time and experience *might* change your tune on these. We’ll see…
Melt with You by Modern English
What’s yours?
Experience may change my tune, but I doubt it. I come from a family of liars, cheats and alcoholics. Big blowups usually degenerated into violence and calls to 911. I avoided such a fate by taming my temper, eschewing alcohol and marrying someone who doesn’t thrive on drama. After 5 years together, M and I very rarely fight. We’d rather just give each other space for a while and then talk calmly when the blood stops boiling.
Lies, white or black, are harmful. Best to avoid ‘em in all areas of life. That’s a lesson I learned long ago.As for the song, we don’t actually one. I wonder if that’s because i married a man who’s deaf. Probably.
Jade, I am so sorry you witnessed that kind of behavior. It makes sense why you’d try to avoid it. Both Wayne and I have personalities where we blow very rarely, but when we do it’s bst to let it out. We don’t degenerate into violence. That’s a big no no. We have too much respect for each other. Besides, it’s very possible to have a big blow out and not have it be a bad thing.
But you’re wrong about white lies. I have a post planned about 2 I know Wayne has told that I’m grateful to him for telling. In fact, one of them saved my life. If I’d known the truth, I would’ve given up and I’d be dead right now. (It’ll make sense when I write the post.)
You may not have a favorite song, but what about a favorite poem???
Love the article!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!
Thanks Peanut!
Thanks Peanut!