What am I doing with my life? At nearly 53, I never imagined I’d still be questioning my direction, but here I am. Lamenting things left undone, goals unpursued, and my inability to block out distractions and focus. So what better post to talk about turning over (another) new leaf (yet again) than the one where I finally talk about the “Bloody Tea” edition of Horror Curated and my “Spooky Six” interview at The Horror Tree?
Except, I’m perfectly capable of focusing when I really want to, and when I’m engaged in something I’m very passionate about. Which makes the ache in my soul that much worse. I always thought I wanted to be a writer. More specifically, a novelist.
Sure, I have a couple of books under my belt. I know I can focus long enough to finish a manuscript when I want to. But they’re not representative of what I know I can do. They’re good first efforts that my ego rushed to publish. I think that’s partly why I haven’t published anything else since The Ghost of Laurie Floyd. I don’t want to rush again.
My next project feels good. (I’m not naming it because every time I do, I find an excuse not to put the polishing touches on it and get it out there.)
The Manuscript That Shall Remain Nameless
In fact, I believe it’s the best I’ve done yet. So good even Wayne likes it, and he (a) doesn’t read fiction and (b) hates anything spooky. He credited me for a good first effort with Beneath the Morvan Moon. He thought I did better with The Ghost of Laurie Floyd, but he praised me for “nailing it” with The Manuscript That Shall Remain Nameless.
Oh, and I forgot. There’s another reason it has no name. I needed to change it after finding out what I originally wanted to call it is a real place. And then another work came out that’s set in a place with the same name.
I want to be as original as I can. The name of the place is very important and needs to convey something about the plot so… Until I can figure out what name will work, it sits, 10% from completion, awaiting a fitting title.
Am I close to finally figuring one out? Perhaps. I recently realized that I’m on the verge of a huge milestone. It’s prompting me to focus on finalizing the title. If I can stay healthy until December 31, that’ll mark 15 Years in the Clear, and having this book finally done would be a great way to celebrate.
The Milestone
Well, technically, I’ll consider June 2024 as 15 Years in the Clear if I get there. Some oncologists start the clock on the day you’re diagnosed. (That’d be December 31 for me.) I prefer to count it as the day I finished all treatments, which ended with radiation in June 2009. (June 18, to be exact.)
And maybe that’s why I’m once again re-evaluating my direction. I’ve accomplished some of the goals I set for myself to aim for as I was recovering. But 15 years later, so much is still left undone…
And, yes, as much as I lament not realizing my fiction writing dreams, a few years ago, I realized, “Guess what, ding dong? You have the privilege of writing every day on Haunt Jaunts. You’ve had six Chicken Soup for the Soul acceptances. Plus acceptances in other places. You are writing. Maybe not what you first set out to but quit selling yourself short. Rather than getting all fired up and writing about gun issues, be better about tooting your own horn when stuff happens, like the ‘Bloody Tea’ publication and the ‘Spooky Six’ interview. Or any of the cool interviews you’ve had with people you’ve never expected to speak with.”
Good advice, inner self!
Bloody Tea
“Bloody Tea,” the spring edition of Horror Curated (a digital mag produced by HorrorAddicts.net), came out months ago. Like I did when the first edition came out, “Haunted Holidays,” I have an article published in it.
It’s called “2 Places for Bloody, Haunting Teas,” and you can read an excerpt of it on HorrorAddicts.net here.
You can purchase it on Etsy and delight in fiction, reviews, and dreadfully delightful visuals like what’s on the cover. Price: $3.13.
Spooky Six
My friend Willow Croft asked me months ago about being one of her interviewees for her Spooky Six interview series on The Horror Tree. I finally agreed, even though other than HJ and contributing at 1428 Elm, I’m not the fiction horror writer like everyone else she interviews.
Willow assured me I qualify as a Spooky Six candidate nonetheless, so I answered her fun questions, which you can read here.
New Branch
I’ve decided the news cycle is bad for my health, and I’m trying to break my addiction to it. Especially the political and mass shooting stories. It’s a waste of my time and energy getting upset about any of it.
No matter who’s in office, someone won’t be happy. But are we always fine? Yes. One side passes legislation the other doesn’t like, but when that other side has the chance to change it, they always do. It always works out, no matter how much the media wants to alarm us with jarring “the sky is falling!” headlines.
And it’s also pretty clear that no matter how much most people are in support of common sense gun reform legislation, other interests (I’m looking at you, NRA) are more powerful. We’re stuck with a WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) situation in America. Guns are here to stay. Even ones like assault-style weapons that no citizen has any need to own.
So that means mass shootings are also here to stay. If we’re not desensitized to them yet, we will be. I don’t know what will be the tipping point to change that. When someone finally manages to kill 100 or more people at once? Or when someone finally leaks the aftermath so people see the stomach-churning carnage that assault-style weapons cause? We see photos of the victims’ smiling, happy, sweet faces after but if we saw them in death…well, yes. That might be a game changer.
You’d think when children die en masse over and over again, that would be enough to make gun reforms a priority by both sides, but nope. It’s just made one dig in their heels that we need more guns. Something that clearly hasn’t helped the matter at all, but try arguing that point with 2nd Amendment fanatics.
Anyway, moving forward, I’m readjusting my sails to focus on achieving the goals I’d really like to attain before I die. That is the only thing I can control in this world.
I’d rather die knowing I spent my dash (you know, 1970 “-” ????) striving to be productive than getting all worked up over issues I really can’t do much about.
So, that’s the new leaf I’m turning over. Here’s to more productivity and positivity!