Death by Nextdoor: A Dateline episode waiting to happen?

Why did I feature a photo of bird poop on a post about Nextdoor and Dateline? It’ll all make sense soon. Stick with me until we get there.

Nextdoor: My Guilty Pleasure

Generally, I try to stay out of the fray on Nextdoor. It can get pretty nasty. (Especially on posts about hot-button topics like guns, politics, or religion.)

As far as I know, no one’s been killed due to a heated Nextdoor exchange. But I’m waiting for it to happen —and to become a Dateline episode.

I can already see the title: “Death by Nextdoor.” Or maybe it’d be more of a play on words. Something like “The Killer Nextdoor.”

Although I’m sure Nextdoor would take exception, and there’d be some legal ramifications or something. I don’t know. That’s for the legal team of Dateline to worry about.

Anyway, as far as using Nextdoor, for me, it’s a great source of amusement. (Mostly to see if there are any potential Dateline episodes in the making.)

However, I rarely post on Nextdoor myself, whether it be to comment or to share something. When I do share, it’s for a good reason or to spread positivity (like giving a neighborhood establishment kudos after a commendable experience).

But there have been a couple of times I posted just to be funny. Like one winter when Nashville got dumped on, and we were snowed in for several days. (The whole city, not just Wayne and I.)

I posted photos of Smalls sledding in an inflatable coffin with the caption: “When you’ve got skeletons in your closet and too much time on your hands.”

People appreciated the humor. It got a lot of engagement, and a couple of the photos even made the news.

So when I noticed something on my car the other day that struck me as funny, I snapped a photo. For one, I wanted to show Wayne what Thomas had done now. (“Thomas” is what Wayne calls mockingbirds, a.k.a. his nemesis. That’s a whole other story.)

But I also knew I’d share it on Nextdoor.

Car Break-Ins and Nextdoor

There have been a lot of car break-ins in Nashville lately. Almost daily, someone posts another incident or shares Ring video on Nextdoor.

Although I argue it’s not a true “break-in” in the cases where the people admitted they didn’t lock their door. Or their Ring footage confirms it for them when a simple test of the handle by the car’s non-owner results in that person easily gaining entry into the vehicle.

Anyway, when I came out to my car, I saw bird poop on my door handle. Even though it was eww-worthy, I also saw the humor in it.

I thought, “Well played —and placed— Thomas!”

But then it also inspired a post I knew I had to share on Nextdoor.

The Bird Poop Post

Here’s what I wrote:

Natural deterrent for car break-ins?

My car WASN’T broken into last night. Partly because I locked it. But I’m wondering if this well-placed bird bomb also had something to do with it?
 

I mean, I didn’t even want to touch the handle to clean it up, so I can imagine it might gross out crooks too.

If this gave you a chuckle, you’re welcome.

Or if it gave you your next anti-theft money-making product idea, all I ask in return is a shout-out if you ever pitch it on Shark Tank!

The Reaction

To my surprise, people (a) saw the post and (b) got my humor. So, for the most part, it was a hit.

Except with one…what shall we call him? Oh, yeah. Party pooper. (Hey, if the pun fits…)

“This isn’t Facebook,” he wrote.

Really?

But I’ve learned over the years to keep mum where trolls are concerned. They’re just not worth my time. So at first, I was going to adhere to that principle.

However, to my surprise, others fired back, quick to call him out.

Wow! My post was generating the kind of Nextdoor amusement I open the app for. Rock on!

And then a response came to me that was too perfect to pass up…so I posted it.

News Flash

Here was my response:

“Huh. You don’t say. Thanks for the news flash, Captain Obvious.”

It, too, received laugh reactions, including from Captain Obvious himself.

Which was a relief. I mean, I’m all about tuning into a “Death by Nextdoor” Dateline episode, but I don’t want to be part of it!