Lately, I’ve been struggling with flagging confidence. But the feel-good movie Champions helped snap me out of it. And so did its awesome soundtrack. Especially a hefty dose of Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping.” (a.k.a. “I get knocked down.”)
Judging Covers
Before I tore my calf muscle, I’d been playing a lot of pickleball. I’m not as good at it as I was at tennis, but I can hold my own.
Except, something’s shifted over the past couple of months. I was getting frustrated about not being as good as I want to be.
Most people, men especially, judge me the first time we share a court. They see an overweight middle-aged woman and make assumptions.
To be fair, I’ve been guilty of that myself. But I try to admonish myself quickly when I catch it happening.
“Don’t judge that book by its cover, Court. You know what happens when you do,” I remind myself.
Playing tennis, I was burned plenty of times by assuming someone older or heavier than me wouldn’t be as good. Many times (many, many times), I found out the hard way that the best players aren’t always the ones who are lean, toned, and young. In fact, I’ve played with and/or against many seemingly “fit” people who are so awkward on the court and have awful hand-eye coordination.
So, yes. I try very hard to remember not to judge a book by its cover.
Underestimation
Another thing tennis taught me was the value of being underestimated. I used to hate when people did that to me. I’d set out to try and change someone’s mind, which usually resulted in me playing worse and confirming their bias.
But then I realized the only thoughts I need to worry about are the ones in my own head. Who cares what someone else assumes about me?
If they’re even making those assumptions anyway. Which, sometimes it’s something they say that gives it away. But on the court (both tennis and pickleball), there’s one shot in particular that gives it away: repeated drop shots.
I don’t look like I should be able to get to most of the short shots that I do. And I have pretty quick reflexes. It catches people by surprise.
Which works to my benefit. Not only do I often get to challenging shots, I usually have a plan for what to do when I get there —something my opponent is rarely ready for. Guess who often gets point? (Because people assume I got lucky and can’t possibly continue repeating such success.)
Fickle Pickle Friends
Playing volleyball and tennis taught me a lot about people. Pickleball is reminding me about things I’d forgotten since 2020. (The last time I played sports with others.)
One of the biggest is: it’s all fun and games until people get better. Then it’s all about winning.
Pickleball is different in some respects because you don’t have to join a league or be on a team. There’s lots of open play. And that’s where you can make friends that lead to making play dates and reserving courts.
Because Wayne and I are fun players, who are also semi-decent, we’ve been asked to play with others from time to time.
Except, the last time it happened was awful. The few times I’d played (open play) before this particular get-together, I’d struggled. To say I was on a losing streak would be putting it mildly.
I tried to console myself that I’d been playing up, and that even though I’d lost, I’d also learned so much.
So I caught up on the courts for the reserved time…and played awful. Our friends even commented about how off my game I was. They knew I was capable of better.
I figured they’d give me the benefit of the doubt, but nope. The next two Fridays they invited another couple to join them instead.
Between that humiliation and my embarrassing The Blackening interview, I was crushed.
Because I felt like part of it wasn’t just my poor play. I was also desperate to impress these people and win their friendship, which led to some awkward conversations on my part. Thanks, social anxiety.
And then to add insult to injury, I got hurt.
Champions to the Rescue
I remember when I first saw the trailer for Champions. I thought it looked like it had potential and hoped the trailer didn’t show all the best parts. Thanks to our Peacock subscription, we found out this past weekend.
It was just the dose of feel-good, heart-warming happiness —and confidence booster— I needed!
Here’s the synopsis from Focus Features:
Woody Harrelson stars in the hilarious and heartwarming story of a former minor-league basketball coach who, after a series of missteps, is ordered by the court to manage a team of players with intellectual disabilities. He soon realizes that despite his doubts, together, this team can go further than they ever imagined.
Get Back Up Again
Champions reminded me of something I forgot. Setbacks happen. Life is going to knock you down. How are you going to respond?
Personally, I’ve always been a fan of the Chumbawamba approach:
“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down.”
My tennis coach Beth always used to compare a match to the tides of the ocean. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes you’re up and winning. Other times you’re down. Just like life. It’s all a part of the rhythm.
What matters is rolling with it. Ride the waves when you can, tumble with them when they knock you down, but get right back up again so you’re ready to catch the flow again when it comes. Because it always does.
And just like that, my confidence was restored.