If You Thought Santa’s Reindeer Were Male, You Might Want to Think Again

Of course everyone assumes Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen are male. Oh, and Rudolph too. Can’t forget him. But if male reindeer really are pulling Santa’s sleigh on December 24th, they wouldn’t have antlers.

Say what?

I know. Blew me away too.

I made the connection when I was listening to the naturalist’s presentation on our latest Alaskan cruise. She was giving a talk about Alaska’s wildlife. From bears to wolves, whales to caribou, or reindeer as many of us call them.

She said caribou are the only members of the deer family where both the males and females have antlers.

I made a mental note of that because that’s some random fact that might pop up on trivia one day.

But then she said, “Males shed their antlers in November and early December. Females keep theirs through spring…”

A light bulb immediately clicked on.

There’s no way boys are pulling Santa’s sleigh then.

Fact Checking

I had to double check all this when I got home.

Sure enough.

According to a Facts About Caribou article, males “shed their antlers in November or December, after mating…”

And according to Live Science, scientists say it’s impossible for Santa’s reindeer to be male.

Huh.

Well I’ll be…

It’s a Girls’ Club

The 1960s stop motion Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is one of my all-time childhood favorites. (That and Scooby Doo cartoons.)

But obviously they got the facts wrong when making the Rudolph story.

Of course society would assume males are the one’s vying to pull Santa’s sleigh while the little ladies stay home and keep the fort down. (Well, caribou don’t really live in forts. Or even stalls. Unless they’re domesticated, which I guess Santa’s reindeer might be. They may have a barn.)

Where they live doesn’t matter because that’s not the point. The point is, flying all over the world and pulling a sleigh would be too taxing for a female, right?

Probably not.

But, shh. Don’t tell the boys. Most of their egos can’t handle that girls can do just about anything they can –and most times even better. Except peeing standing up. That’s messy. Even for men, who, let’s face it. Most of them don’t do that all that well either, am I right? (I know any woman who has to clean her family’s toilets is agreeing with me right now.)

Anyway, in reality, if Santa is still doing things the old-fashioned way and is still using reindeer with antlers instead of a jet or helicopter or some more modern mode of transportation to deliver presents on Christmas Eve, his four-legged flying team is all female.

A Woman’s Work Is Never Done

So what else is a lie? Is Santa even really a man?

Doubtful.

Again, any woman with a family who does Christmas knows the answer to this: not likely.

Sorry fellas, but facts are facts. Most of you aren’t the ones shopping, wrapping, cooking, and decorating. Or, in other words, making the magic of Christmas happen.

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