Today marks the day I began answering my calling. I’m not only making my intentions known to the Universe, but I’m also making them public: I’d like to do more public speaking.
I recorded a video a couple of weeks ago, but today I edited it and uploaded it to a new playlist on Haunt Jaunts’ YouTube to start practicing and showcasing my skills.
I called it Court’s Corner and it’s where I’ll share these “speeches” (for lack of a better word right now) that come to me from time to time.
Thank My Muse
I imagine this is how it must be for visual artists and musicians too. Book and story ideas, as well as articles and essays, just come to me. Gifts from my muse, I call them.
It’s fun having a muse. She’s my Notion Planter. It’s exciting to see what creative nugget she’ll bury in my heart next.
Because that’s how I “receive” them. They burn with excitement in my heart and come to life in my mind’s eye. Once I “see” them, I know how to bring the vision to fruition and busy myself doing it.
She’s Ambitious
Except writing alone doesn’t seem to satisfy this muse of mine anymore. Skellie photo op ideas, videos, graphics –if my mind starts to shut off, she’ll suddenly zap me with a new idea.
For a while now she’s been planting seeds for speeches. (That really is a lousy word. Maybe she’ll bestow a better one on me now that I’m acknowledging I’m going to start making them happen.)
Getting Serious
It started several years back with the suicide of Phoebe Prince. That story hit very close to home.
I knew what it was to be bullied so ruthlessly that suicide seemed like both the best and only option.
That’s the fist time I remember my muse swarming my mind, heart and soul with things I should say. How I should go forward with my story. Show others like Phoebe that if I could survive –and go on to live a life filled with amazing moments and I’d only be stronger for having survived them– that they could too.
How to Start?
But making videos in 2010 was foreign to me. I didn’t have a smart phone. I had a little Canon PowerShot I guess I could’ve used the movie function on.
But…but, but, but. There’s a million of those for why I didn’t.
Including I wasn’t ready to share some of that. Very, very few people know about that traumatic time in my life. Not even some of those whom I consider nearest and dearest to me now know anything about any of that.
Ask and You Shall Receive
But this year something all of a sudden clicked.
It could have to do with the fact I’m approaching 10 Years in the Clear. I’ve accomplished a lot on the “If I Live” list I made when I was first diagnosed with cancer.
Not all.
Some goals have changed.
Some new aspirations have emerged.
Some were always there –like this one– but it’s only now I see how to pursue them.
Grab That Bull’s Horns
I don’t need a formal invitation to an event to speak.
But if I want one, how will anyone know I’m (a) available, and (b) what kind of message I have if I don’t put myself out there?
What better way than using YouTube? And Facebook. And social media in general.
So, today I took that small step/large leap of faith.
Why?
Everywhere I go people consistently tell me the same things:
- “You’re so happy! So positive and upbeat. A ray of sunshine.” (Maybe not all of those at once. Usually some combo, though.)
- “You’re so funny!”
- “I love your laugh.”
Well, I love hearing all of that. I love laughing and I love when I can make people do it with me.
And as far as being positive –there really are a lot of grumpy people out there. I used to think people were just being generous with their compliments about my personality.
But nope. I see what people who work with the public have to put up with. It ain’t pretty. I see why I stand out.
So, if I really do have any happy to spread, I’m willing to share!
Will it inspire, motivate, or help anyone?
Who knows? But I won’t know if I don’t try and I’ll have fun finding out in the meantime.
The First Video
Sentinel life events. Like most, I’ve had a few.
Seventh grade and surviving being bullied was one.
Cancer was the most recent one.
It’s why Haunt Jaunts was born and is so important to me. HJ gave me a new sort of confidence and courage.
So that seemed like the natural first video to start with. How cancer helped me survive a near-life experience and woke me up to the fact I was holding myself back.
I don’t know how frequently I’ll make the Court’s Corner vids, but I imagine bullying, mental health, and a few lighter subjects will be topics now that I’m on a roll.
For now, here’s the first one if you’re curious to see it: