Are you familiar with a catalog called Femail Creations? It’s one of my favorites. It never fails to have things in it that amuse me, because they carry a lot of products with pithy sayings.
Like these lavatory mists. (Fancy word for toilet sprays, which also cracked me up.)
All three made me laugh but the “Who Let the Logs Out?” did me in.
The moment I spotted it in the catalog I asked Wayne, “You know those poo sprays I like?”
“No. I don’t even know what a poo spray is. Is it what it sounds like? Something you spray on your shit?”
“Sort of. I think you’re supposed to spray before you go, but I always spray after.”
“You spray your shit?”
“No! I flush then spray to cover up the odor.”
“I gotta tell you, if you do have such stuff, either you don’t use it or it’s not working because I got news for you. When you go, I smell ya, Stinky!”
“Well I don’t spray every time. Only after bad ones.”
“Maybe you should reconsider that policy as a courtesy to me.”
Of course this made me bust out. Once I recovered I tried again. I knew if he understood what I was trying to tell him, he’d think “Who Let the Logs Out?” was a funny name too.
“Will you please listen to what I’m saying?”
“I am. You like to spray your poo with something that’s supposed to make it not stink but it doesn’t work.”
“No!”
“Oh that’s right. You don’t always use it but you will now.”
“Maybe I will. Maybe it gives me an excuse to buy this new one. ‘Who Let the Logs Out?’ Isn’t that a great name for poo spray?”
He hesitated a second with his eyebrow raised like he does when something gives him pause.
Then he said, “I’m a little concerned you’re so excited about poo spray. I’m also concerned I never knew you liked to spray your poop before now. But I have a feeling this is just the beginning of weird things I may learn about you during this quarantine lockdown stuff.”
Maybe.
In May we’ll have known each other a total of 34 years. Just trying to keep it fresh. Pun totally intended.
What about you? Are you learning anything about your significant other (if you have one, or yourself if you don’t) during this stay-at-home time out we’re all taking?