Last year around this time, I gave a 16 months later update on my Operation No Social Media project. Over the past 12 months, I’ve once again struggled with my internal “to use social media or not to use social media, that is the question” conflict.
The other day I had an email exchange with my friend Willow Croft, who has been having a similar social media conundrum. In particular with Twitter.
Ah, Twitter. I had relented and let myself get pulled back onto the platform at the end of 2021. It was better for a while. I liked it again and found ways to ignore all the vitriol —until suddenly, I slipped back into familiar patterns. That is, falling for the clickbait rabbit hole that is the Trending Topics.
Well, all that did was lead to high blood pressure. (I’m sure, though I never actually measured it.)
Then Elon Musk came along. I really hate that guy. But I decided to give him a chance. Surely he wouldn’t reactivate certain accounts, like Trump’s, would he? It was more of a publicity stunt, wasn’t it?
Nope. He’s every bit the vile “twit” I always thought him to be. I was hoping he’d prove me otherwise, though.
Anyway, even though Trump hasn’t tweeted, I can’t abide being on a platform that would reinstate him, the white supremacists, and all of the other banned accounts that are now active again. I told myself if that happened, that’d be it. I’d be done with Twitter for good.
I didn’t make a big fuss about it. I was a “quiet Twitter quitter,” to borrow a phrase from Willow. Why make a statement about it? My absence would be statement enough. Besides, if I said I was leaving, then I’d be tempted to go back and see if anyone commented, which had the potential to open up a can of opinionated worms. Thanks, but no. I’ll pass on that delicacy.
Instagram, I really want to still love you. But you’re a hot mess. And if I don’t post every day, your algorithm punishes me.
Plus, what’s up with people who follow to unfollow you? Of all the platforms, you bring out the worst in people about that.
But I don’t like the response such behavior elicits from me, which varies from, “What an insecure wanker!” to “Seriously? Well, okay. If you’re okay with letting your lack of self-esteem show, so am I.”
Speaking of personal issues, I guess it’s not surprising Insta is the place you’d find them. It’s a perfect platform for narcissists.
Not that everyone who uses it is one, mind you. Just the ones who post nothing but selfies. Or the majority of their posts are selfies. Don’t they have a freaking mirror? I bet if it came with a “likes” feature so they could get feedback that way they’d stare into that all day instead.
Anyway, I still find myself posting here and there because I love taking photos when we travel or explore. But I also happily abide by the 15-minute timer I set on my phone for when I do venture on it. Which sometimes isn’t even once a week now.
Operation No Social Media all started when I abandoned Facebook in September 2020. With the exception of one Instagram glitch that posted something from my Haunt Jaunts Insta to my personal FB page over the summer, I have stayed away from Facebook for personal use.
As for business use with Haunt Jaunts, I still auto-post new blog entries. Once in a while, I remember to check and see if the 20-30 people (out of the 10,000 who have liked my page) that Facebook allows to see my posts have commented.
Other than that, my life is certainly not diminished by a lack of Facebook. In fact, I’d argue it’s much better off without it.
YouTube
If I have one weakness now, it’s YouTube. I’m on a mission to learn how to create cool videos. Infotaining ones. Maybe even mini documentary-like ones.
Why? I don’t know. I’ve always, always, always been obsessed with movies. Mostly watching them, yes, but I also always find myself wondering, “How did they do that?” “How did they get that shot?” “Oh, okay. I see how they used that transition. Interesting!” Etc.
So I’ve been dabbling, trying to learn not only how to shoot and edit video, but how to tell a story in that medium. Which is very similar to how to tell a written story, it’s just visual.
Anyway, that’s a major WIP, but a super pleasurable one. There are so many fascinating teachers on YouTube. Both the ones giving actual technical filmmaking advice, as well as the channels that are just putting content out there in whatever their niche is. Tons to be learned by watching them…very similar to learning by reading other authors.
The Realization
I turned 52 last year. I don’t feel it. If you caught me off guard and asked me my age, I’d stumble. I might tell you 30 or 40-something before realizing I’m now in the Nifty Fifties.
Which, my age hasn’t caused me a lick of duress. I’m so grateful to have survived and made it here! (December 31, 2022, marked 14 Years in the Clear!)
But I have realized the end is nearer than the beginning. It’s been almost 24 years since we left Phoenix. That was the first major life change. The trajectory I imagined taking shifted dramatically.
Then it changed again in 2008. In many ways. First, caring for my mom. Then her death. Then my cancer diagnosis.
The years have flown.
In another 23, if I’m lucky enough to still be alive and healthy, I’ll be 75. I’ve got a lot I want to accomplish before then. Or before another sentinel health event comes along. I may not be able to conquer the next one.
The deaths of a few friends recently have reminded both Wayne and I that you just never know when your number will be called. All were relatively young. Our ages, pretty much. Two were healthy and living right. Then bam. Heart attack for one. Untreatable cancer for the other. Gone. For the other, physically, he was healthy. Mentally, I didn’t know he was struggling. He committed suicide.
Wasting time on socials tracking likes, views and follows? Naw. I’d rather be creating, learning, and LIVING.
I’m a Person, Not a Commodity
Plus, I do not want to be anyone’s commodity. Because that’s really all people are to social media companies. And then they distinguish them between influencers and influencees. Although, you don’t hear that last one. The first one is a fancy title they created —or that someone did— that stuck. But once they saw people knocking themselves out striving to become one, they knew they’d struck psychological gold. It does sound so important, right? Posh even.
Influencers. Pfft. More like commodity herders. They grab your eyeballs and steer your attention in a certain direction. “Help us sell to them,” the social media companies beckon. “We’ll reward you with more likes and followers. You’ll be so popular.”
It’s a siren song. One I’m immune to now. I’ve put on my Real Life Ear Muffs.
Also, after spending the end of 2022 rejecting Twitter, I realized I had an angertainment addiction. (Isn’t “angertainment” a brilliant word? I wish I could take credit for it, but I read it somewhere else.)
But I reject that now too. The second I respond to something emotionally, I look away. I refuse to spend my life in a constant state of aggravation.
Instead, I choose to spend the rest of it seeking to infuse as much positivity, creativity, love, and goodness into my days as possible.
These next years —or days, weeks, months, whatever I have left— are precious. And all about priorities. The biggest of which is living my best life possible to the absolute fullest.
That’s what I remind myself when I suffer bouts of social media FOMO. Because, at the end of the day, social media doesn’t enhance or enrich my life at all. That makes it very easy to live without —now that the detox phase is complete.