Positive affirmations did not use to come easy to me. Not that they do now either, but they do come easier after I’ve spent the better part of the last couple of years immersing myself in them.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Virgo and I’m critical by nature or because of my upbringing, but negative self-talk used to be my norm. Heck, I didn’t even know there was such a thing —or that I did it— until a tennis friend brought it to my attention one time.
I don’t really recall what happened now. Maybe I missed a shot and apologized and blamed myself for not being fast enough to get it or for not reading our opponent quicker. Who knows?
The thing is, she placed her hand on my shoulder and stared directly into my eyes, and said, “You know you’re a good person, right? You’re a hell of a player, one of the smartest I know, but my God, you also beat yourself up more than anyone else I’ve ever played with. It hurts my heart to hear you berate yourself like you do. And that’s only what you verbalize, which makes me think the negative self-talk going on in that head of yours has to be off the charts.”
Negative self-talk? Didn’t everybody do that?
I looked into it and discovered, to some extent, we’re all guilty of it from time to time. But then some of us…yikes. It’s a perpetual state of being. I fell into the yikes category. Big time.
But how was I going to change it?
Changing Negative Self-Talk
Most advice for “curing” negative self-talk included therapy. Ugh. Thanks, but pass. The bother of it sent my anxiety skyrocketing.
Talking to a trusted friend? Bothering anyone with my issues also sent my anxiety skyrocketing. Next!
Journaling? Okay, that’s more my speed. I do that anyway, though, and I was still plagued with negative self-talk.
What about positive affirmations? Sounded a little New Age-y hokey, even to me, who has embraced New Age concepts from time to time.
But I do like quotes and uplifting sayings. Maybe I just needed to read them more often. Like the years when I read Simple Abundance essays each day. That seemed to boost my mood and help quiet the negative self-talk.
Okay, so I settled on something to try, but where to find them?
Finding Positive Affirmations
The funny thing is, once I started wondering how to do it, it was a matter of letting the Law of Attraction do its thing. Finding ways to incorporate positive affirmations in my life just came to me.
Suddenly, Badass Affirmations by Becca Anderson, a book I had noticed before but hadn’t paid much mind to, called for me to buy it.
So did I’m dangerous…I’m not gonna lie by Erin Smith, a book I’d long had, but had read through once and then set up as more of a decoration on one of my shelves. Now, however, it beckoned me to pick a page to meditate on each day.
Then Sarah Ban Breathnach released a revised and updated Simple Abundance: 365 Days to a Balanced and Joyful Life.
And when I spotted a copy of The Little Guide to Dolly Parton (Unofficial and Unauthorized): It’s Hard to be a Diamond in a Rhinestone World, my inner voice whispered, “Oh yeah. That has to be added to your Positive Affirmation Project. Nobody knows how to twist negative into positive better than Dolly!”
Immersed in Positive Affirmations
But I didn’t just find positive affirmations to incorporate into my life from books. I listened to meditations on an app on my phone during the start of my morning walks. And a funny thing happened. Instead of finding excuses not to walk —i.e. it’s too cold outside, or too hot, or I’m too busy— I found solutions. I’d bundle up or go earlier to beat the heat, and really? Was I too busy? Was anything really that pressing that I couldn’t find time to get it done?
And then the coaches of Supernatural came into my life. Each with a different style, but all were loaded with pearls of positive wisdom. Which was good for several reasons. One, I hate most heart rate-increasing exercises. It means I’m going to sweat and get out of breath, two feelings I don’t relish.
Yet, when it’s more like playing a game, and I’m basically tricked into it? I don’t mind as much, apparently. Especially not when the coaches guide the exercises with humor, and, like I said, so much positivity! So I was getting a double boost to not only my mental health but also my physical!
Even better, I was thinking of myself in new terms thanks to them, “You got this, Athlete!” “We’re in this together, one big Supernatural family.” “Way to show up for yourself today, Champion.”
The Result
Old habits are hard to break. That’s why from time to time, some negative self-talk still slips in. But just momentarily. I’ve got new tools to combat it with.
Deep breaths.
Envisioning myself surrounded by beautiful colored light, sometimes white, blue, golden, or pink, depending on my needs and mood. But always light that’s nourishing, comforting, and protective.
Gentle reminders to re-center myself. “Happy cells are healthy cells.” “Surrender expectations. Kairos will cover it.” “Attract what you expect. Reflect what you desire. Become what you respect. Mirror what you admire.”
Motivational sayings to guide my actions and focus. “Be a goal-getter.” “She remembered who she was and the game changed.” “In pursuit of a flawsome life one imperfect moment at a time.”
Sassy sayings to light a fire. “Bitch, I am the secret sauce!” “Budget your fuck bucks wisely. Be frugal with what you give a fuck about.” “I am a Mrochstar!”
Nope. Now I just don’t have space for any more negative self-talk. There’s no room. The positive affirmations crowd it out!